Enough is enough

I can’t take this shit anymore. The show is so fucking stupid. The Fez secret stuff is ridiculous. The last person on Earth that should be giving advice to Fez is Ron, period. I can’t take it. Goodbye Ron and Fez forever. Good luck renewing your fucking contracts.

- End Transmission -

OK, I started listening again…

and I am wondering why. Coming back to the show is like coming back to a soap opera after being away for a long time, things have moved so slowly it is like nothing has changed. You can jump right back in. The show is just like I left it, which is unfortunate. The only thing that has changed is that the show lasts an hour longer.

I don’t think I can make this a regular thing anymore. I’ll probably listen once in a while but that’s about it. Sooory.

Show 088

New schedule? Oh, it’s a gag.

Ichi-bans

Ron to Dave: “When are you going to have the fucking baby and take a week off.”

Fez on new James Cameron movie: “That’s what I need, another cinema experience that’s gonna make me puke.”

I saw Philip Glenister on another show, I don’t think it would actually be a good interview.

Alright then, gay is officially a choice. Now it fits Ron’s attitude.

Choice implies the ability to change one’s mind.

So all gay people are really just mentally screwed up, or as the caller says, diseased.

Gays did not decide to turn themselves into a minority, it was an avenue to pursue.

This talk is so god-damned stupid.

So was the nephew molested? Apparently the Dad or Mom is a pervert and turned their child gay. They should probably be arrested or at least investigated.

Enough! I’m burnt.

Show 087

Topic: Idol

Topics: Ichi-bans

If you didn’t know Ron was talking to Paltalk you would think he was nuts.

“Shop around motherfucker!”

There are numerous hatches on Lost island.

No more Ron and Fez noon to three

Topic: Defending Fez

Topic: Name the best-ofs

“What about Dave McDonald’s Face Face, Hour of Bliss?”

“What about Fez Whatley’s smorgasbord of Swedish cum juice?”

“What if just call it what the fuck lets bring Earl back disappointment package?”

Topic: Fez gets a life coach

“Ron and Fez hockey cum punch”

Topic: Elmore Leonard

*break*

Topic: Chimp attack

Spy Report: Westboro

“I think he hate blended fabrics and shellfish, something like that.”

E-Mail: Shish Kabob

Topic: Needed fast food

E-Mail: Does Fez ever listen?

E-Mail: What war would you like to fight in?

“That’s not it asshole.”

E-Mail: Favorite Woody Allen movie?

Show is all but over.

*break*

Topic: Short hair

“Dave and Jew plus Two”

“I’ll cut my dick off.”
“How would you know?”

Christ, Ron is so fucking passive-aggressive.

Covering Dave’s bets. Fez will do anything to get back into the show.

Casey goes Geldof.

*break*

Z-man is an idiot. Cougars should be 40+.

I just went to the site, stupid.

Where my nizzors at? Holla!

If you can be removed, it’s not a HoF then, its just a list.

You know who would not make my list? Paunchy douche-bags like Z-man.

Oh, I think Fez may be a cougar. Oh yes.

Show 086

Topic: American Idol

Topic: Basketball

“The humble thing is a detriment.”

“He’s got to keep his dick in fucking Gisele just cause he can’t think I can’t believe I can’t play right now.”

Topic: Fez vs Sirius

I do think that Ron and Fez should let Chris Stanley and Dave go do some of this stuff.

“I’ll eat his ass.”

“People don’t like you. The problem is they don’t think you are competent.”

“Because of the Jew thing?”
“No, that’s just part of it.”

“You’re a rat bastard and I think you got your just deserts.”

“I want you to do DTAER, don’t trust anyone even Ron. Because I don’t like you.”

Fez should just take the attitude of fuck you all.

“May in Sweden.”

“Not to be mean here, but fat girls don’t get love.”

I believe Fez has tried to be professional with the Sirius people.

*break*

Topic: Religion

I don’t believe that a personal philosophy is all anyone is looking for.

I can’t listen to arguments when no one has any expertise.

Every ‘What does cum taste like?’ caller should die.

*break*

“It’s so much funnier the way Jesus tells it.”

Topic: Mr Doug’s birthday

“Fucking Kumar is in the movie.”

E-mail: A shout-out to Curtis Miller

E-Mail: Private school expulsions

E-Mail: Dub or subtitles?

Topic: Best movie drug addict?

*break*

Wow, a little UHF thrown in after the break.

Topic: Good addictions?

OK, then there can’t be a good addiction by Ron’s definition.

Topic: Jon & Kate plus eight

Topic: Dave’s baby

“Why do you got to be an asshole about your own wife?”

Fez steps down as executive producer.

Good. It’s over.

Show 085

Topic: Jury Duty

“Why don’t you just do what I do and just not answer the fucking letters?”
“Well, cause I like driving and voting.”
“They can take that away from me?”

Topic: Miss California

“Do you see how ridiculous it is when the guy who gets to decide is Donald Trump?”

“Here is my only advice to you Fez, my second, my first advice kill yourself.”

They obviously don’t know of the leaked photos of Miss California.

Topic: Charlie Crist

Gay?

Topic: Barack Obama jokes

I have heard Obama jokes on the Daily Show.

Topic: Is ‘gay’ an insult?

“Don’t take this personally Justin, your wife is a horrible whore.”

“It’s like a bunch of twinks are in the windows of all the stores.”

“We should change the name of this fucking town to Twink City Mannequinville.”

I don’t think I have ever been affected by a male mannequin.

“I got that cunt pregnant twice.”

Topic: Steaks

“That’s not corn-on-the-cob anymore, it’s just corn.”

I don’t really care to eat ribs and other messy stuff with my fingers either.

“Look at him everyone, he’s stupid!”

“Ball bag! Ball bag!”

“Mr clean they are going to take you away one day.”
“I’ve been taken away. And I got back.”

“You’re under the catch and release program for the state of New York.”

Topic: Gotti’s getting evicted

Mafia Life Chris a white knight?

I never watched any of the Gotti crap.

*break*

Topic: Real life Footloose

Where did the government getting involved come from?

Topic: Westboro press release

*break*

Inventor East Side Dave

“Exactly, only it’s different.”

“Won’t knissors cut you?”

No, the knispanics will cut you.

Hat head is the stupidest idea ever!

Oh wait, I hadn’t heard the Botch yet.

Email: What sport season tickets would you want?

“My knee, my knee!”

“Or a radio show, like you and Fez.”

*break*

Topic: Having a kid

Email: How many animals can you beat in a 100 yard dash?

“I’m doing a show with, certainly, the slowest mammal.”

866-RON-SLOWESTMAMMAL

“It would be cool to see if Fez can swim faster than a running whale.”

“He can’t swim at all, the flopping motherfucker. Every time Fez goes into the water a lifeguard comes to help.”

“They’re not really like humans, they are more akin to like apes or whatnot.”

“They just sit and stare at me.”

Look-up: Crab riding jellyfish

Topic: Twitter updates

Hmmm, no more friends with Fred from Brooklyn

*break*

Topic: Who do you stay friends with?

“What we have is a business relationship.”

“I also wouldn’t confide in you because you’re worthless, it would be like talking to a fire extinguisher.”

Show 084

New opening is a bit weak.

Oooo, just thought about the fact that the live reads will be reduced if not gone altogether.

Look-up: Rhianna nude photos

“Oh yeah, under my umbrella brella, yeah its the worse fucking song in the whole history of the world.”

“We should take a video of you right now for a condom commercial.”

“Is that right Ikea, you never thought you wanted to send pictures of somebody?”
“Don’t call me Ikea.”

Topic: Dave’s wedding

“It was the only wedding reception I’ve been to where some of the people were fed.”

“I know Don has married three different women, so you know, we know what team he says he’s on.”

Topic: Celebrity Apprentice

Topic: Star Trek (Spoiler Alert)

Boo, Ashley Madison read.

*break*

Topic: What celeb did Ron see?

“I said he was a home owner.”

I knew it was Woody.

Topic: Prejudices

“I’m on a roll today Ron, I am on top of things.”

“You’re Mr. Game-show.”

“If Fez started to come in here orange, I think the show would finally break up.”

“I notice you brought that lunch there for yourself. So you thought of yourself, you didn’t think of your own son.”

“I’m buying lunch, I’m going to crush it up and put it in.”

“Unlike most people, I still feel like its OK to smoke though a lung infection.”

*break*

Topic: Earl is an author.

“You Can’t Fire Me I Quit: The Earl Douglas Story”

*break*

Topic: Basketball

“There’s no logic to this guy, he’s seeing a shrink.”

“You red-headed fuck.”

Show 083

Topic: Haircuts

Topic: Kiefer Sutherland

Ah Kiefer, gotz the short-man’s syndrome.

Topic: Drew Peterson

Apparently Fez has nothing to add on this topic. Cut off by Ron.

Topic: Basketball

Great, we get Dave. Blah blah blah.

Topic: Empty stores/malls

+++++
Danny Ozark: “Win this for me boys because I can’t get a hard on anymore.”
+++++

No one shops at malls anymore. Many stores that have filed for bankruptcy have had stores located in malls. Plus kids took over malls making them undesirable.

Cool, mall church.

*break*

Topic: Fezatorial

Fezatorial = Mad Lib

Topic: Carlos Santana says to legalize marijuana.

Fez is again, stupid.

Topic: Ring-tones

Topic: Campaign promises/politics

I didn’t know Ron followed the gay movement so closely.

With all this complexity that Ron talks about, why do anything at all? I guess we should be scared of complexity. It’s an excuse for not doing anything.

“All you care about is what matters to you personally, then you expect the rest of us to.”

Topic: Electronic Mail/Ice chewers/Big Ass cards/moral conundrum

I’ve chewed ice before but for no specific reason. Probably it was just hot.

“Why would you even fucking say that when you know its going to be turned into a ring-tone.”

If it isn’t the future you, then its not the past you either, especially if there are multiple time-lines.

Ron has control of everything in his future? Because he says so? I think Ron is nuts on this subject. If there is no future you, then why talk about this stupid email?

Look-up: Trailer Park Boys

“I hate America.”

“Your Dad, Wayne Dwyer.”

Topic: ProFlowers dis

“Using his laptop?”

“That’s what I like about Morphine, that you can sit and feel as comfortable as a stuffed animal.”

“You know what i love about you Dave, you’ve been here since the beginning, you didn’t hop from one show to another.”

Topic: Literary Corner

This is like only the third time this bit has been done,but it is already overplayed.

“Julianna is kinda homophobic.”

“Uncle Ronnie says this bit has run its course.”

*break*

Topic: Dave’s impression ripped off

Topic: Casey and her doctor

“By the way, the cervix is deeper than you ever wanna go boys. Thats when it starts going from being the lovely vagina into the innards.”

Topic: Mark Goodson/Bill Todman game shows

Show 082

“This is what we ought to do is Fez Whatley’s Book of Wisdom, where we’ll just have things that will have you find Fez’s level of success.”

“I’d give her a Paxil bear.”

“Remember kids Sunday Dad comes out of the blackout, so clean up this mess even though he made it with you.”

“You’re acting like I won’t try things, and then I know you and your Dad shot dope together.”

“I’m just surprised there’s not a baby called Cumia Cumia running around somehow.”

“I’m going to fuck your coonce.”

“I can’t trash talk.”

“You’d be like dropping a fucking Don Rigo cigar into a woman’s vagina.”

I hate Lappy 5000.

Well you don’t know it is true, it probably is, but you don’t know. I don’t know if the Prez said it was spontaneous or it was assumed so by the press?

“But explained to me why those people are singing the Labor Day song by Jerry Lewis.”

“You’re going into the big ass prize closet, you’re a dick.”

“I’ve have never despised you as much as I do at this moment.”

This is the weirdest R&F. Ringtones?

“This is how I remember life, everything under Earl was perfect, everything under you is awful.”

“I just assumed everyone was just after me.”

“That has been your M-O, you H-O-M-O.”

“$500 for any one of your friends that Fez can abuse.”

“How old are you that you have a Velcro wallet?”

Show 081

Note: Today’s comments are abbreviated. Was doing other things while listening.

“Did you just say doll herself up?”

“Let’s not judge people on their hobbies.”

“I bet Casey would love to tie off, the pain that woman is going through.”

“You and I are team puddin’.”

Everybody hates lemon.

Seinfeld is not not the only person to ever deal with pudding skin!

Simon is Pegging Star Trek for an Oscar! gih gih gih

Star Trek will wait Nimoy for an Oscar. gih gih gih

“I got to move a I know too many people in that neighborhood.”